|Posted by Turtle on February 15, 2014 at 5:05 PM|
I'm sitting here at the library listening to some music and (obviously) writing this. Should I be doing this? No. Definitely not. What I should be doing is research for my two projects in my design class that are both due next week and I haven't even started on. I'm kind of screwing myself here. Yay procrastinaion! I am a proud slacker but, hey; aren't we all? I mean how many of us have pulled the "Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?" shtick? Exactly. My mom's always on my back about how I need to do more than the bare minimum but that's all I leave myself time to do. But how could I not? I need to leave myself time for Bioshock and Kingdom Hearts. And the animes. Oh the animes.
Honestly though, I think I'm just stressed. I put off stuff I don't want to do because doing it stresses me out. Then I get even more stressed because By the time I get to it I have hardly any time to do a good job on whatever it is. Add to that dealing with too many people in my life-believe me there is such a thing as too many friends-and dealing with mental scarring left from things in my past, and I just feel like sleeping. I talk about video games and anime like I have time for that, but really I'm so spread trying to go to class, go back and forth twice a week between here and another city 45 minutes away, make time to see my parents, and see all my friends. And now my great-grandmother is sick and in hospice care. I will tell you this-dementia is not a friend of mine. She's got a sick sense of humor.
I'm really making this heavyier than I wanted-this is way too serious and depressing for my liking, but I guess that's what's on my mind. Yay anonymity!
On the bright side I had a spiritual awakening the other night. I'm really delving into myself lately. Figuring out your beliefs is really important. I'm still debating whether to get into that here...I mean I wanted this to be my life, my shell, my mind, what have you but...I don't know. I guess I worry it will be very unpopular and become a waste of time. I mean, I like to pretend I don't care what people think of me but I really do. I suppose it doesn't matter-I mean I plan to stay pretty anonymous for the most part so I don't have to worry about people botering me in real life...just here. I'll make a desicion son, anyway. At the least this could become a healthy outlet for me. I'll deal with stuff, get it off my chest, and just talk to you.
Either way, there will be a lot of controversial and emotionally heavy stuff in this blog-but some fun happy stuff too. Just wait until I start talking about the renaissance fair, and anime conventions, and stuff. Ooh boy. In other words, this isn't just a blog, but a diary. A window into my brain train. I ask just a little from you: be open minded. Be kind. Be thoughtful. And remember I'm totally opening up here. Everything is honest and everything is real.
See you in the wired.